Blog‎ > ‎Tango Technique‎ > ‎

Cabeceos to be avoided at all costs...

posted May 15, 2014, 12:13 AM by Sophia de Lautour   [ updated Oct 21, 2018, 12:27 AM ]
image: transnochando
Here's an excerpt from a discussion by Miles Tangos1 about the types of cabeceos that should never be accepted. 

Have you experienced any of these?

'1.) The 'In Your Face' Ask
2.) The 'Babysitting' Cabeceo (or Mirada)
3.) The 'Stalker' Cabeceo (or Mirada)
or a personal favourite...
4.) The 'Bathroom' Cabeceo (or Mirada)

The 'In Your Face' Ask is where the person seeking a dance gets within about 2 feet from an unsuspecting target dancer and then verbally asks them for a dance. Poor form!

The 'Babysitting' Cabeceo (or Mirada) is where a Lead/er (or Follower) will ask a Follower (or Lead) to dance, and the Follower (or Lead) has said "...ummm not right now", so said Lead (or Follower) sits down right next to said Follower (or Lead) to wait for them to be ready! Awwwwkward!

'Stalker' Cabeceo (or Mirada) is when a Lead/er (or Follower) will sneak up on or Follow (or Lead) said target around the room (literally), and then when they least expect it jump out at them and ask for a's insanely creepy folks.

And finally, The 'Bathroom' Cabeceo' (or Mirada) is where a Lead/er (or Follower) will wait outside the bathroom for a given Follower (or Lead) to exit and Cabeceo (or Mirada) them at the bathroom door!'

This type of behaviour (not only from men, by the way) can really sour the experience of a milonga, and by accepting such invasive invitations we encourage their continuation.  To quote Miles...

"There's a reason why Cabeceo exists...and you need to respect the usage of it."

Related Posts:

source: Tango Truisms

Image: transnochando

Go here to find out about SoTango's upcoming tango courses - from beginners to advanced levels. 
Subscribe to the SoTango Newsletter  to stay posted on our special events, promos and all-things-tango