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Tango and Couple Therapy - the art of being present

posted Jan 15, 2019, 10:37 PM by Sophia de Lautour   [ updated Feb 1, 2019, 11:27 PM ]
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Photo of Melbourne based tango teachers (and partners in life) Rina and Nadim Sawaya of Tango Esencia

Have recently discovered online the couples therapist and tango dancer Dr. Sue Johnson - a clinical psychologist and Research Professor at Alliant International University in San Diego, California. 

My motivation for sharing Dr Johnson's ideas here (see videos below)  is that she frequently refers to tango and dance as a metaphor for relationships. This is one of the qualities of tango that continually intrigues me, and it's makes tango so much more than a dance. 

It's clear that what applies to tango applies to relationships and vice versa. It's heartening that many couples in our classes have said that learning tango has improved their relationships.

Dr Johnson 's key messages are that: 
  • Being present and engaging with your partner is much more important than 'performance'
  • Presence and engagement are the key to great sex and a fulfilling relationship. 
  • Infidelity is the symptom of a lack of engagement and intimacy between partners.

The experience of connection

Go here for an insightful interview with Dr Johnson covering:
  • What ends relationships (it's not fights and conflict)
  • Knowing when to call it quits
  • What causes infidelity
  • Monogamy vs polyamory
  • The key to great sex

In the above interview Dr Johnson, once again, peppers her discussion with tango examples and metaphors - particularly from 14:25 onwards. Click straight  there if you're short of time, but I highly recommend viewing the whole interview if you're interested in how to improve your romantic relationship.

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