Canaro was a sellout, and you're a sellout for liking him. I bet you love Starbucks and watching reruns of 'Friends'. 

D'arienzo 

If you need the beat screamed at you and hate layers, sure. You must be a beginner.

This is what orchestra people say when they don't know what to say. Boring and predictable. 

A hipster's answer. You're trying to appear knowledgeable and as an advanced dancer. You pretend to "get" Troilo and talk about his "nuanced layers." Your ruse isn't fooling anyone. 

Of course you like Pugliese. Everyone likes Pugliese. I bet you also loooove gaunchos and volcadas, and the beat is a mystery to you. 

Biagi 

You like to memorise strange beat patterns then make your partner feel bad when they "can't follow/lead them.

Do you even understand what tango is about? It's about soul-crushing sadness, not all this silly happy, upbeat mess. 

Fresedo 

Worse than Donato. I don't want to get diabetes while I dance. 

This answer is actually acceptable. 

What, did you listen to Alma de Bohemio once? 

I hope you're joking. How can you stand those violins? It's like sucking on a lemon. 

Aw, grandpa over here loves to tango, if by "tango" you mean shuffling around the floor for 12 minutes.

All of his music sounds the same. Your typical breakfast is unbuttered toast with plain oatmeal, and you like to tell stories no one cares about.

You know he's almost never played in Buenos Aires right?

Get out.